YAY! I found out that they have a marathon in BJ this October!!! And my co-worker wants to run it too! I thought coming to CN would mean I'd have to put off running a marathon until later - but perhaps I CAN have my cake and eat it, too. Although, the problem is running in this pollution ...
http://www.cits.net/citsonlineWeb/switchdo.do?prefix=/marathon&page=/b2c/Welcome.jsp
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
homesick
lonely
wo (third tone)
hen (second)
xiang (third)
I miss I miss
De duo!
wo miss bijiao so much
my jia my home
my friends peng you
safe spaces
and I truthfully shuo
speak
I miss speaking
even in English I can’t convey
wo de xin
wo de heart
my heart
well,
what of my xin?
can’t shuo it
cut off and
yuan far yuan far yuan yuan yuan
from
warm waters
tired of navigating through
turbulence and rocks
Dad baba
I know you are my boat
but how nan! how hard
when you take away what I think
I need most
to find I never needed anything at all
but you
because
if you be with me
i am jia
i am home.
wo (third tone)
hen (second)
xiang (third)
I miss I miss
De duo!
wo miss bijiao so much
my jia my home
my friends peng you
safe spaces
and I truthfully shuo
speak
I miss speaking
even in English I can’t convey
wo de xin
wo de heart
my heart
well,
what of my xin?
can’t shuo it
cut off and
yuan far yuan far yuan yuan yuan
from
warm waters
tired of navigating through
turbulence and rocks
Dad baba
I know you are my boat
but how nan! how hard
when you take away what I think
I need most
to find I never needed anything at all
but you
because
if you be with me
i am jia
i am home.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
conference
Yesterday, I went to a conference by Stuart and Jill Briscoe, a famous couple that travels around the world giving talks to encourage C leaders. It’s so amazing – they are in their mid-70s, and they are traveling the globe!
It’s always refreshing to be reminded of the basics. The B tells us everything we need to know, and all we need to do is believe it and do it. The problem is sometimes we forget these truths and promises – or we don’t really believe them – and so we needed to be reminded.
Stuart talked about how the lost are like “sheep without a shepherd.” How many times have we heard this analogy? But it is an amazing one if you think about it. We are dumb and crazy like sheep – we are a bleating, stubborn, and stupid mob. We try to cross the hedge the shepherd puts up for own good because we want freedom – and in this search for “freedom” we walk into the road and become mutton.
Ever since being in CN, I have had new, intimate experience with mobs. Especially on the bus. Sometimes I don’t have to hold onto anything because I am pressed up against bodies on all sides. Sometimes I’m carried by the wave of people coming in – I’ve been stepped on, squeezed, jostled, elbowed, pushed on and, in return, I have stepped on, squeezed, jostled, and pushed others. The worst thing is when you are in the back or front of the bus, and you need to get to the exit door. There are about 40 people between you and your goal. And then this mob becomes especially annoying and frustrating.
But instead of being frustrated, annoyed, or angry at mobs, J looked at them with compassion.
“When J saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” - Matt 9:36
How did he do that? How do I possibly love the mob keeping me from the exit door, and, even more, how could I possibly love the 1.3 billion people in this country?
Use J as the example.
He saw the crowd was “harassed and helpless.” Stuart had said “Behind every aberrant behavior, there is unresolved pain.” We need to realize that the crowd is made up of individuals, individuals who behave this way because they’re trapped, fallen, in pain, and lost. They push and shove, just as I pushed and shoved, because everyone else is – and if you don’t, how will you ever get to the door? If I don’t take the bribe, how will I ever get to the top? How will I support my parents and grandparents? I am their pride and joy - If I don’t succeed, how will I make them proud?
I admit that I know very little about this country – and the less you know and understand about something, the easier it is to criticize it. It’s easy for an outsider to simple-mindedly complain about how things work here, regarding such subjects like corruption, pollution, inefficiency. But Dad looks past the surface into the heart – the reasons and motives behind it all.
Take corruption, for instance. No one denies that this is one of the biggest problems CN faces. Anti-corruption is on the top of the list of the government’s agenda. “Tsk, tsk” the American says. “That’s so messed up how so many people get their jobs by paying officials.” And I think I would have said that only a few weeks ago, but I was editing this article on corruption – and it helped me see the big picture. I am not excusing corruption – I’m only saying that many of these officials and leaders feel trapped. They see it as unavoidable and necessary because the very framework of society and bureaucracy here is built on guanxi. Sometimes, it’s the only way to “succeed.” For example, one official was given a bribe by some leader of a province. The official slipped the money back into the leader’s car, but their relationship has been broken since. So if you can’t beat the system, why fight it?
I’m trying to get used to this idea of guanxi. But I guess we have it in America too – we call it “connections”, but it plays a smaller role there, I suppose. Guanxi goes against my “Protestant ethic” of being rewarded solely by hard work, capability, and integrity, and I will have to get used to it, because, really, you can’t function here without it. I got my internship through guanxi, through a friend of a friend of a friend.
But anyway, that’s a discussion for another day - back to my point. We need to look past the surface of the sweaty, noisy, obnoxious mob into the heart of the individual in order to love them as J does. I hope I can begin to understand this place – because the beginning of loving them is understanding who they are in light of who G is. People are greedy, violent, evil, but they can’t help it because they are fallen from what G intended them to be. They are sheep who need a shepherd. C.S. Lewis said we must see each person as an eternal being who has the potential of being an eternal abomination or a child of G caught up in the weight of glory.
More thoughts about the conference later.
It’s always refreshing to be reminded of the basics. The B tells us everything we need to know, and all we need to do is believe it and do it. The problem is sometimes we forget these truths and promises – or we don’t really believe them – and so we needed to be reminded.
Stuart talked about how the lost are like “sheep without a shepherd.” How many times have we heard this analogy? But it is an amazing one if you think about it. We are dumb and crazy like sheep – we are a bleating, stubborn, and stupid mob. We try to cross the hedge the shepherd puts up for own good because we want freedom – and in this search for “freedom” we walk into the road and become mutton.
Ever since being in CN, I have had new, intimate experience with mobs. Especially on the bus. Sometimes I don’t have to hold onto anything because I am pressed up against bodies on all sides. Sometimes I’m carried by the wave of people coming in – I’ve been stepped on, squeezed, jostled, elbowed, pushed on and, in return, I have stepped on, squeezed, jostled, and pushed others. The worst thing is when you are in the back or front of the bus, and you need to get to the exit door. There are about 40 people between you and your goal. And then this mob becomes especially annoying and frustrating.
But instead of being frustrated, annoyed, or angry at mobs, J looked at them with compassion.
“When J saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” - Matt 9:36
How did he do that? How do I possibly love the mob keeping me from the exit door, and, even more, how could I possibly love the 1.3 billion people in this country?
Use J as the example.
He saw the crowd was “harassed and helpless.” Stuart had said “Behind every aberrant behavior, there is unresolved pain.” We need to realize that the crowd is made up of individuals, individuals who behave this way because they’re trapped, fallen, in pain, and lost. They push and shove, just as I pushed and shoved, because everyone else is – and if you don’t, how will you ever get to the door? If I don’t take the bribe, how will I ever get to the top? How will I support my parents and grandparents? I am their pride and joy - If I don’t succeed, how will I make them proud?
I admit that I know very little about this country – and the less you know and understand about something, the easier it is to criticize it. It’s easy for an outsider to simple-mindedly complain about how things work here, regarding such subjects like corruption, pollution, inefficiency. But Dad looks past the surface into the heart – the reasons and motives behind it all.
Take corruption, for instance. No one denies that this is one of the biggest problems CN faces. Anti-corruption is on the top of the list of the government’s agenda. “Tsk, tsk” the American says. “That’s so messed up how so many people get their jobs by paying officials.” And I think I would have said that only a few weeks ago, but I was editing this article on corruption – and it helped me see the big picture. I am not excusing corruption – I’m only saying that many of these officials and leaders feel trapped. They see it as unavoidable and necessary because the very framework of society and bureaucracy here is built on guanxi. Sometimes, it’s the only way to “succeed.” For example, one official was given a bribe by some leader of a province. The official slipped the money back into the leader’s car, but their relationship has been broken since. So if you can’t beat the system, why fight it?
I’m trying to get used to this idea of guanxi. But I guess we have it in America too – we call it “connections”, but it plays a smaller role there, I suppose. Guanxi goes against my “Protestant ethic” of being rewarded solely by hard work, capability, and integrity, and I will have to get used to it, because, really, you can’t function here without it. I got my internship through guanxi, through a friend of a friend of a friend.
But anyway, that’s a discussion for another day - back to my point. We need to look past the surface of the sweaty, noisy, obnoxious mob into the heart of the individual in order to love them as J does. I hope I can begin to understand this place – because the beginning of loving them is understanding who they are in light of who G is. People are greedy, violent, evil, but they can’t help it because they are fallen from what G intended them to be. They are sheep who need a shepherd. C.S. Lewis said we must see each person as an eternal being who has the potential of being an eternal abomination or a child of G caught up in the weight of glory.
More thoughts about the conference later.
Friday, March 2, 2007
more pictures
First, here are some pictures of food...
This guy is making noodles at the restuarant Aiyi where treated Hannah and me to Beijing kaoya (Peking duck). First, he grabs and stretches out the dough from the metal bowl on the right. He simultaneously pulls and forms the noodle from the dough. As he pulls the string out, he throws it into the boiling vat. I think if the dough didn't run out, you could have one continuous noodle miles and miles long.
Here he's making another kind of noodle. He uses a metal knife to shave off thin strips off of the slab of dough.
Here is the Beijing kaoya. Mmmm =) You eat this by taking a flat round doughy skin (which is really similar to uncooked dumpling skin) and placing the strip of duck, onion, cucumber, and sweet sauce in it. Then you wrap it up like a burrito, and enjoy =)
And this is what I had for breakfast this morning. It's called "tong yoon" in Cantonese, which makes it ... "tang yuen" in Mandarin? Whatever their proper name is, they are starchy glutineous balls of delight. These balls are prepared by boiling and are consist of gooey fillings. I've only tasted the sesame filling before in the States, but this morning there were a whole plethora of fillings, as you can tell from the different colors. All unidentifiable to me, except for the sesame and peanut filling.
When we reached the top of Great Wall (after 500 steps of near 60-degree ascension), we had a photoshoot because Blake had brought his tripod. We were able to pose in many creative ways. Here we're emulating the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" phrase, but since we had a fourth person, Hannah became "smell no evil."
This is my favorite picture of Hannah, which was taken at the Forbidden City. We just came out of the bathroom, I think. She was still exactly the same as I remembered her - kooky, child-like, making the same cartoon-sounding exclamations. =)
This guy is making noodles at the restuarant Aiyi where treated Hannah and me to Beijing kaoya (Peking duck). First, he grabs and stretches out the dough from the metal bowl on the right. He simultaneously pulls and forms the noodle from the dough. As he pulls the string out, he throws it into the boiling vat. I think if the dough didn't run out, you could have one continuous noodle miles and miles long.
Here he's making another kind of noodle. He uses a metal knife to shave off thin strips off of the slab of dough.Here is the Beijing kaoya. Mmmm =) You eat this by taking a flat round doughy skin (which is really similar to uncooked dumpling skin) and placing the strip of duck, onion, cucumber, and sweet sauce in it. Then you wrap it up like a burrito, and enjoy =)And this is what I had for breakfast this morning. It's called "tong yoon" in Cantonese, which makes it ... "tang yuen" in Mandarin? Whatever their proper name is, they are starchy glutineous balls of delight. These balls are prepared by boiling and are consist of gooey fillings. I've only tasted the sesame filling before in the States, but this morning there were a whole plethora of fillings, as you can tell from the different colors. All unidentifiable to me, except for the sesame and peanut filling.And here are more pictures from last weekend when Andy, Blake and Hannah visited.
When we reached the top of Great Wall (after 500 steps of near 60-degree ascension), we had a photoshoot because Blake had brought his tripod. We were able to pose in many creative ways. Here we're emulating the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" phrase, but since we had a fourth person, Hannah became "smell no evil."This is at the Temple of Heaven, which serves as both a historical site (where the emperors used to come to worship heaven) and a public park. At the public park section, we watched these old people throw soft, cloth loops at each other. But instead of catching it with their hands, they'd catch it with their heads so the loops would end up around their necks! Since Andy was the only foreign-looking person around, they beckoned him to join them in their festivities. Here is a cool picture of him throwing the loop. At first he threw it too low, but he learned quickly after an old lady showed him how to do it (see picture in two posts ago). He also showed an aptitude for catching it with his head. Hannah told me that the crowds around us were exclaiming to each other about what a smart foreigner he was =P
This is my favorite picture of Hannah, which was taken at the Forbidden City. We just came out of the bathroom, I think. She was still exactly the same as I remembered her - kooky, child-like, making the same cartoon-sounding exclamations. =)Wednesday, February 28, 2007
introspection
I. Vignettes
a)
CN is always moving. People flow in and out of every space, so that there is no one spot that is empty for long. On the bus, unlike in America, people know to move all the way to the back and take advantage of every nook and cranny between bodies. A couple days ago, I watched a boy work his way to exit through a packed bus (bodies packed like a deck of cards). He made himself skinnier somehow, walking sideways and turning his head to the side, his back and cheek rubbing against a wall of bodies.
b)
The lady I’m staying with is always on the move, too. She eats over the sink, never waits for the stoplight, always walks with a destination. She’s in her 50s and sometimes she only wears a shirt and underpants in the apartment. She’s not eccentric – it’s culture. Americans are sex-crazed, but we are prim, too. In CN, girls can undress in the same room. A body is simply a body here.
c)
My boss is young and sharp. He could talk about any subject – movies, wine, GREs, wars, the government. He on top of what’s happening in the world. He’s jaded, too. He used to be a member of the Party, but dropped out ten years ago. “I can’t take the shit they talk about in those mandatory meetings.” But he is laid-back and accommodating, too. He watched “The Departed” on his computer, and asks me if I have seen it before. He treats the interns out to lunch.
d)
During the Spring Festival, there are small shops on the streets with stacks and stacks of red boxes and multicolored designs on them. Inside these boxes are fireworks. Lighting fireworks is a pastime for teenagers, adults, and even families. But children shouldn’t light the big ones that shoot up over 10 stories high. The ones that shoot out of the tubes are more fitting for them. You hold the tube in your hand and a light whizzes out, like a shooting star, making a whistling sound. I can hear the fireworks go off sporadically in the night. Sometimes they are followed by car alarms. They are set off in building courtyards, on the sidewalk, in the street - anywhere that has a clear space, so you have to be careful where you walk. When H and I were walking to the shopping center, she got hit by a pebble from one of the explosions 20 yards away.
II. Thoughts
Today, I feel like a ghost. I only want to flow through the crowds and slip quietly into the crevices that open up between people. I wake up homesick – it’s the first time I dream of people at home. I dream that I had gone back home and my brother had been seriously sick, and when he told me about it he cried because it had been so hard. And then I searched the house, but I couldn’t find Skye.
After work, I don’t want to go home for dinner because I don’t want Aiyi to feel obligated to cook for me. I try to find a food court, not a restaurant, because I want minimal social interaction. Because social interaction means talking, and ghosts don’t talk.
The enemy attacks when you’re most weak. I’m scared of so many things. I’m scared of getting lost. Of getting run over by a car. Of not being knowledgeable and sharp like my co-workers. I’m scared of buying running shoes myself, even though I’m dying to go running. I’m scared of Aiyi and causing her so much trouble. I’m scared that maybe I am weak for being homesick so soon. I’m scared of buying vegetables. I’m scared of opening my mouth.
But G never wastes any hurt. I offer this homesickness and fear to him as well! Through this, I’ll learn to depend on him all the more. And he will give me life as I overcome. He will give me humility when I am forced to ask for help. He will give me his strength when I am weak. He will give me compassion for people far away from home. He will give me faith against fear.
The enemy says, “What have you to offer to CN? You’re so small and timid. What can you possibly offer to G if you’re afraid to buy vegetables by yourself? Did G really call you or did you come because you wanted adventure or because it was easy?”
And I don’t know if I have a heart for CN at all. I don’t feel like Hudson Taylor, who would die to see CN’s people receive G. And neither do I have A’s single-mindedness in witnessing to his co-workers.
But they tell me a heart for CN begins with a heart for G.
And what does it mean to be “called” anyway? We’re all called if we’re part of the family, no matter where we are. It’s no different following G here than following G in the States. Love Him with all your heart and all your mind and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself (whether your neighbor is a 50 year old lady from BJ, or your 18 year old dorm-mate from San Jose.)
What do any of us have to offer anyway? We don’t have anything, only what G gives us. I’m scared but I’m willing. My hands are empty, but they’re open. I have no eloquent words, only the knowledge of how the Cross changed my life and how it can change yours, too.
a)
CN is always moving. People flow in and out of every space, so that there is no one spot that is empty for long. On the bus, unlike in America, people know to move all the way to the back and take advantage of every nook and cranny between bodies. A couple days ago, I watched a boy work his way to exit through a packed bus (bodies packed like a deck of cards). He made himself skinnier somehow, walking sideways and turning his head to the side, his back and cheek rubbing against a wall of bodies.
b)
The lady I’m staying with is always on the move, too. She eats over the sink, never waits for the stoplight, always walks with a destination. She’s in her 50s and sometimes she only wears a shirt and underpants in the apartment. She’s not eccentric – it’s culture. Americans are sex-crazed, but we are prim, too. In CN, girls can undress in the same room. A body is simply a body here.
c)
My boss is young and sharp. He could talk about any subject – movies, wine, GREs, wars, the government. He on top of what’s happening in the world. He’s jaded, too. He used to be a member of the Party, but dropped out ten years ago. “I can’t take the shit they talk about in those mandatory meetings.” But he is laid-back and accommodating, too. He watched “The Departed” on his computer, and asks me if I have seen it before. He treats the interns out to lunch.
d)
During the Spring Festival, there are small shops on the streets with stacks and stacks of red boxes and multicolored designs on them. Inside these boxes are fireworks. Lighting fireworks is a pastime for teenagers, adults, and even families. But children shouldn’t light the big ones that shoot up over 10 stories high. The ones that shoot out of the tubes are more fitting for them. You hold the tube in your hand and a light whizzes out, like a shooting star, making a whistling sound. I can hear the fireworks go off sporadically in the night. Sometimes they are followed by car alarms. They are set off in building courtyards, on the sidewalk, in the street - anywhere that has a clear space, so you have to be careful where you walk. When H and I were walking to the shopping center, she got hit by a pebble from one of the explosions 20 yards away.
II. Thoughts
Today, I feel like a ghost. I only want to flow through the crowds and slip quietly into the crevices that open up between people. I wake up homesick – it’s the first time I dream of people at home. I dream that I had gone back home and my brother had been seriously sick, and when he told me about it he cried because it had been so hard. And then I searched the house, but I couldn’t find Skye.
After work, I don’t want to go home for dinner because I don’t want Aiyi to feel obligated to cook for me. I try to find a food court, not a restaurant, because I want minimal social interaction. Because social interaction means talking, and ghosts don’t talk.
The enemy attacks when you’re most weak. I’m scared of so many things. I’m scared of getting lost. Of getting run over by a car. Of not being knowledgeable and sharp like my co-workers. I’m scared of buying running shoes myself, even though I’m dying to go running. I’m scared of Aiyi and causing her so much trouble. I’m scared that maybe I am weak for being homesick so soon. I’m scared of buying vegetables. I’m scared of opening my mouth.
But G never wastes any hurt. I offer this homesickness and fear to him as well! Through this, I’ll learn to depend on him all the more. And he will give me life as I overcome. He will give me humility when I am forced to ask for help. He will give me his strength when I am weak. He will give me compassion for people far away from home. He will give me faith against fear.
The enemy says, “What have you to offer to CN? You’re so small and timid. What can you possibly offer to G if you’re afraid to buy vegetables by yourself? Did G really call you or did you come because you wanted adventure or because it was easy?”
And I don’t know if I have a heart for CN at all. I don’t feel like Hudson Taylor, who would die to see CN’s people receive G. And neither do I have A’s single-mindedness in witnessing to his co-workers.
But they tell me a heart for CN begins with a heart for G.
And what does it mean to be “called” anyway? We’re all called if we’re part of the family, no matter where we are. It’s no different following G here than following G in the States. Love Him with all your heart and all your mind and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself (whether your neighbor is a 50 year old lady from BJ, or your 18 year old dorm-mate from San Jose.)
What do any of us have to offer anyway? We don’t have anything, only what G gives us. I’m scared but I’m willing. My hands are empty, but they’re open. I have no eloquent words, only the knowledge of how the Cross changed my life and how it can change yours, too.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
back in BJ
Hi friends,
Take care, friends!
I actually posted a huge long update with pictures yesterday night, but then I pressed the wrong button, and my 45 minutes of work was lost! Alas! =(((
I only sometimes get this wireless signal so when I do have it, I want to take advantage of it ... but I think I need some quiet time with Dad, so I will simply say for now it's been a whirlwind - HK for 5 days, and then Hannah coming to BJ on Friday, and Blake and Andy coming yesterday and leaving today. We went to the Great Wall, Forbidden City, World Park, and Temple of Heaven (Gu Gong). Tomorrow I am starting my first "real" day of work.
I miss you guys a lot (and that is an understatement!). I have all these emails from you guys coming back from HK and I will reply to emails when I can! But thank you so much for your love! Please keep sending me updates, although it seems like I'm replying slowly. Here are a couple pics to hold out for now, until I have time for a more introspective post =)
Take care, friends!
Over and out.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
hello again
Hello from the internet bar again.
I'm at another one, which is near my house. I tried to pretend I was a local by walking to cashier nonchalantly and saying "How much?" in Mandarin.
She just stared at me all confused and said, "What?"
Haha. I guess I need to practice more. This is a poem I recently wrote about language.
"Speaking Putonghua"
One who knows the language
shoots to the point
straight and clean
For me
I'll do anything to get there
haphazard
spit out words
in any order
try a phrase in all four tones
slap out delicate r's and twists
with my American tongue
heavy as a slab of salmon
I apologize the ancient Chinese poets
I make turn in the grave
with Putonghua/English/Cantonese
mutant sentences.
Also, I realized I got jipped at the other internet bar I went to! So they charged me 6 kuai/hour but this one charges 2 kuai. You actually first give them 3 kuai, and then they give you back 1 kuai after you return to the cashier when finished. Interesting.
Oh and guess what??? My name is going to be in the byline of an article published in the new issue that came out to today! YAYYYY. But my name will be in Chinese (huang2 ming2 yi2). And the article is in Chinese. I expanded the English version and then they translated it into Chinese. How it happened is actually a very exciting story.
On Tuesday I was planning to go to work in the afternoon just to meet everyone, because that was when everyone would come back from the New Year's day trip. But my boss (who is a very cool and chill guy who studied journalism grad school at Cal) calls me at noon and says, "We have some work for you, Katina." Cooool, I think. He asks if I can expand this article about the new Harvard president, Caroline "Drew" Faust, who is the first woman to be appointed to that position. The article is about 2.5 pages single spaced, but I needed to make it about twice as long (2500-2600 words). I ask when he needs it done by, and he says, "As soon as you can ... maybe 5 or 6 tonight?"
I had promised Aiyi that I would go to her company dinner with her co-workers, so I was supposed to leave at 4:30pm. I told my boss that I had to go to a dinner, and he said that was fine, just finish as much as I can. I decided to work at home, since that would save travel time, and I had a really strong wireless signal so I'd be able to research.
Except (horror of horrors!) after 10 minutes the signal went away completely. So I called Aiyi and told her maybe I could go to dinner, or I'd come late. And also, was there an internet bar nearby?
She told me just to come to her office and work, since they have internet. I thought that was a good idea because then I could go with her to dinner directly and save time. It's really good to have connections, because she is this bank executive, and she set me up in her office on the 20th floor. She ordered this girl to give me anything I needed. Wow.
But yeah, I tried to finish as fast as I could, but I could only get up to a little over 2000 words. Also, we were already half an hour late to dinner and Aiyi couldn't leave the bank without me so I had to email what I had. So yeah, I wasn't very satisfied with the result, but I guess all you can do is do your best.
People are so kind to me here. Aiyi, especially, because she shows me how to do everything. Her niece took me grocery shopping. Aiyi's co-workers came to speak to me during dinner and at the karaoke bar, even though I only have kindergarten level Chinese. My co-worker also helped me open a bank account. (By the way, I LOVE my co-workers!! They are pretty young, in 20s or early 30s, and all speak English well. I got to eat lunch with some of them yesterday.)
I think it's good that I experience being in this helpless state and learn to ask and receive help. It's a lesson in humility. For me, I'd much much rather give help than receive it. It feels good to be a C in Berkeley as an ISM leader, giving help to international students who don't know how the school system work, giving essay editing tips, taking people to good restuarants.
But how do I be a C, in a "lower" position? It took me a bit of effort to ask my co-worker, "Can you help me open a bank account?" First of all, I want to be self-sufficient. Secondly, I don't want to cause trouble for him. And it's hard for this prideful girl to become a baby, almost.
But it makes me think about J, who did not consider himself equal with the Father - and he did become a baby. It's amazing, if you put yourself in that position - choosing to become helpless when you have all the power in the universe.
Please continue to lift me up in your thoughts, that I will learn to have that heart of humility and compassion.
Also, I am going to HK tomorrow. I will get to meet new friends and see old ones, Janette and Matt and Andyy!! YAY =)
I'm at another one, which is near my house. I tried to pretend I was a local by walking to cashier nonchalantly and saying "How much?" in Mandarin.
She just stared at me all confused and said, "What?"
Haha. I guess I need to practice more. This is a poem I recently wrote about language.
"Speaking Putonghua"
One who knows the language
shoots to the point
straight and clean
For me
I'll do anything to get there
haphazard
spit out words
in any order
try a phrase in all four tones
slap out delicate r's and twists
with my American tongue
heavy as a slab of salmon
I apologize the ancient Chinese poets
I make turn in the grave
with Putonghua/English/Cantonese
mutant sentences.
Also, I realized I got jipped at the other internet bar I went to! So they charged me 6 kuai/hour but this one charges 2 kuai. You actually first give them 3 kuai, and then they give you back 1 kuai after you return to the cashier when finished. Interesting.
Oh and guess what??? My name is going to be in the byline of an article published in the new issue that came out to today! YAYYYY. But my name will be in Chinese (huang2 ming2 yi2). And the article is in Chinese. I expanded the English version and then they translated it into Chinese. How it happened is actually a very exciting story.
On Tuesday I was planning to go to work in the afternoon just to meet everyone, because that was when everyone would come back from the New Year's day trip. But my boss (who is a very cool and chill guy who studied journalism grad school at Cal) calls me at noon and says, "We have some work for you, Katina." Cooool, I think. He asks if I can expand this article about the new Harvard president, Caroline "Drew" Faust, who is the first woman to be appointed to that position. The article is about 2.5 pages single spaced, but I needed to make it about twice as long (2500-2600 words). I ask when he needs it done by, and he says, "As soon as you can ... maybe 5 or 6 tonight?"
I had promised Aiyi that I would go to her company dinner with her co-workers, so I was supposed to leave at 4:30pm. I told my boss that I had to go to a dinner, and he said that was fine, just finish as much as I can. I decided to work at home, since that would save travel time, and I had a really strong wireless signal so I'd be able to research.
Except (horror of horrors!) after 10 minutes the signal went away completely. So I called Aiyi and told her maybe I could go to dinner, or I'd come late. And also, was there an internet bar nearby?
She told me just to come to her office and work, since they have internet. I thought that was a good idea because then I could go with her to dinner directly and save time. It's really good to have connections, because she is this bank executive, and she set me up in her office on the 20th floor. She ordered this girl to give me anything I needed. Wow.
But yeah, I tried to finish as fast as I could, but I could only get up to a little over 2000 words. Also, we were already half an hour late to dinner and Aiyi couldn't leave the bank without me so I had to email what I had. So yeah, I wasn't very satisfied with the result, but I guess all you can do is do your best.
People are so kind to me here. Aiyi, especially, because she shows me how to do everything. Her niece took me grocery shopping. Aiyi's co-workers came to speak to me during dinner and at the karaoke bar, even though I only have kindergarten level Chinese. My co-worker also helped me open a bank account. (By the way, I LOVE my co-workers!! They are pretty young, in 20s or early 30s, and all speak English well. I got to eat lunch with some of them yesterday.)
I think it's good that I experience being in this helpless state and learn to ask and receive help. It's a lesson in humility. For me, I'd much much rather give help than receive it. It feels good to be a C in Berkeley as an ISM leader, giving help to international students who don't know how the school system work, giving essay editing tips, taking people to good restuarants.
But how do I be a C, in a "lower" position? It took me a bit of effort to ask my co-worker, "Can you help me open a bank account?" First of all, I want to be self-sufficient. Secondly, I don't want to cause trouble for him. And it's hard for this prideful girl to become a baby, almost.
But it makes me think about J, who did not consider himself equal with the Father - and he did become a baby. It's amazing, if you put yourself in that position - choosing to become helpless when you have all the power in the universe.
Please continue to lift me up in your thoughts, that I will learn to have that heart of humility and compassion.
Also, I am going to HK tomorrow. I will get to meet new friends and see old ones, Janette and Matt and Andyy!! YAY =)
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